The Value of Encouragement

I had the privilege of being mentored by Fred Smith, Sr. One of the most meaningful lessons I captured from spending time with him was the importance of valuing people. Through his encouraging ways he always made you feel that you could accomplish more than you thought possible. His belief in me propelled my efforts. One of his thoughts that hit home is “accept the encouragement from a true friend as the comfort of God.” If I’ve learned to understand the meaning behind it, I think I’m supposed to do a small portion of God’s work relationally while I’m a resident on Earth. Specifically by encouraging those who I walk alongside. Easy to understand, sometimes hard to implement.

I conduct massive amounts of leadership training with high school students. I typically work with groups of 30 in their classrooms. In January, 09 I was in the final stages of an especially draining day. I had 6 classes in a row, and had survived the first 5. It was now 2 p.m. and one more remained before calling it a day and collapsing. As the final group filed in I made eye contact with each one of them and anticipated our time together. A young man walked in last and appeared to be someone I might have a challenge with. His appearance and demeanor revealed some “negative” clues that his participation may be minimal if at all, and he may become a disruption to the class. His appearance reminded me of a student from a neighboring school. The two were not related, but shared a common “look”. I remember the other student because he professed his #1 objective in life was to “kill a cop.” Of all the life pursuits available his was to destroy and he was only 14! Was I about to learn another disappointing desire? I anticipated as much.

The class went especially well. I forgot about “him” to a certain degree until it was his turn to share. We had conducted an exercise that forced you to pinpoint what was most important over the next 6 months or so. Many students were behind in their studies and wanted to catch up, some were pursuing athletic excellence; still others wanted to pass the SAT’s. When I got to the young man who looked like the “cop killer” I awaited his response. I expected little. Shame on me. He proceeded to share the following:

“My #1 objective is to be there for my 8-month old nephew. My sister needs the help and I spend 3 nights a week caring for him.”

Excuse me? I immediately felt convicted for my minimal expectations. Here was a young man with an outward appearance that spoke negatively to me. However, his inner makeup was compelling. I was so moved by his story, and the extreme care he was committed to show his nephew with no thought of return. He was an encourager in his life! I left that day vowing once again to leave judgment in the trunk of my car and give everyone a chance. Judgment lurks in my soul and occasionally spills out and clouds my ability to see. The next day I was conducting a keynote address with 800 students. I knew that “he” would be in the room. The theme of my talk centered around heroes and their impact on our lives. I opened my time by sharing the story of the young man I had met the previous day. I shared his commitment to his nephew, and suggested that there would come a day when the nephew would look him in the eye and say, “thank You for the difference you’ve made in my life”. I referred to him as a hero in the making who is making a positive difference. Everyone enthusiastically acknowledged him.

The following morning I spoke with an assistant principal of the school that he attends. He said he was surprised I selected him. “His dad is in prison and it has been a struggle to keep him in school. Your encouragement made a difference. Thank you for sharing his story”. The assistant Principal didn’t know what I was thinking when I first encountered the student, he only saw what I did. If he had known what I was thinking he would have seen a window into my soul that was stained. But God forgives and provides insight and wisdom if we are willing to look for it.

Accept encouragement from a true friend as the comfort of God. I long to do a small portion of God’s work through encouraging others. I hope you do too.

Thought Provoking Questions:
1-Is there enough evidence out there to convict me of being an encourager to those I interact with?
2-Do I allow judgment to eclipse how I see people?
3-Does my love exceed my ego?
4-Do I have the courage to ask my team how I am doing in this area?

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Author: Dan Williams

Dan Williams is the Founder of Destiny Leadership Foundation, an organization which comes alongside high school students who desire growth in personal leadership and crafting a life vision. He is also a professor in the MA in Organizational Leadership program at Biola University.

If you would like to learn about work of Fred Smith, please go to breakfastwithfred.com.